My book, Letting Go: An Ordinary Woman’s Extraordinary Journey of Healing & Transformation, was published in June 08. My struggles with letting go began in 2000 when my parents died within 3 months of one another. Letting go reappeared when I let go of my beautiful farm in central New Jersey, which had been my home for 27 years.
My husband and I began building our dream, retirement home on 54 acres in the High Country of North Carolina. Six weeks into construction, my lesson in letting go intensified when he confessed one evening, “I never wanted this house. I never wanted to be here. This is all your dream and I feel like I’m just along for the ride.” At which point, my heart stopped. Over the next week, it became apparent we were separating and divorcing. Our 29-year relationship was over.
Letting Go is the story of how I not only survived my husband’s betrayal, but learned and grew from it. It follows my journey from being completely clueless to becoming fully aware of my creation and all the steps in between.
Tell us something about yourself.
I was born and raised in New Jersey. I got my first horse at the age of 13. I showed hunters and jumpers until I graduated Pharmacy School in 1975. I married a horse vet in 77 and left the practice of pharmacy to manage our equine hospital, veterinary office, and breeding farm in central New Jersey until he retired in May 04, and we moved to the mountains. In the early 90s, I discovered my abilities in animal communication and healing. I live in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina near Boone and operate “Just Ask” Communications, a practice devoted to helping people and animals better understand one another in order to live harmoniously together.
What inspired you to write this book?
I began writing about the experiences that confronted me after I left my wonderful farm in Central New Jersey in order to understand, why. I never saw it coming and was completely devastated by the events that unfolded six weeks after our move. I needed to understand how this could happen without me having the tiniest inkling of what was in my husband’s mind. I knew if I didn’t learn why this happened I would never recover. I published my journaling for others. After I shared some portions of it with friends, they encouraged me to take it to the next step. They knew better than I the benefit to others that my story offered. Based on the responses from my readers, they were absolutely right.
How did you publish this book? Why did you decide on that publisher?
Letting Go was published by Virtual Impressions Publishing, which is a small self-publishing company in Asheville, NC. Since I had no expertise in publishing, I wanted a personalized approach. I needed someone who could take me stepwise through the process, which VIP’s owner, Shelley Lieber, was willing to do.
How did you know you wanted to be a writer? How did you get started?
I didn’t know. The most I’d ever written prior to this was a yearly Christmas letter. I backed in to being a writer. I’ve only just accepted the fact that I am a writer after 2 years of writing columns and articles for magazines, ezines and guest blogs.
I began writing a journal of self-discovery. I started on page one and ended up with just under 300,000 words when I stopped. It had no chapters; nothing that resembled a book. When I finished writing, I fully understood more about myself and the trauma that devastated me when my Ex left than I thought possible. My writing allowed me to learn, grow and heal.
What do you believe is the hardest part of writing?
The only problem I have is lack of time. I write from my heart, so I call in my muse and it flows onto the computer screen very much like channeling. So, for me, writing isn’t hard. Finding time to write is the challenge.
How do you do research for your books?
I write about my life experiences, so there is no research involved.
Did you learn anything from writing this book? What?
I learned more about my true Self from my writing than I did from the first 53 years worth of life experiences. The act of writing allowed me to become an observer. Writing removed me from the emotion of the events. Lessons that had been obscured by out-of-control emotions appeared on the page as I wrote. Each time I’d get hit with an “ah ha, moment” was very profound. I’d discover a powerful lesson, a piece to the puzzle of my life, which I’d never even glimpsed at while experiencing it. These were the precious gems that rewarded me for all the honesty and effort I put into my writing. They were the reasons why I wrote: to understand, to learn, to grow, to let go, to heal. Writing gave all of these to me.
I learned first and foremost that my core beliefs, which were shaken by my husband’s betrayal, are rock solid and form the basis of my Truth. I learned that letting go and healing is like peeling an onion. We have layers upon layers upon layers of stuff to learn from and let go of. There seem to be infinite levels to healing. Numerous times I thought I’d let go of everything only to find more waiting to rush to the surface.
In the last chapter of Letting Go I list the top-20 things that I learned from my time in the Abyss and Tunnel. I was humbled when a reader told me that she’s copied my list and has it posted in her home and at work. That blew me away.
Probably the most significant lesson concerns SELF-LOVE. I learned to love Self, to respect Self, to believe in my power and make decisions based in self-love. Is it something that will honor me? For years I put others first and Self last, which didn’t work out so well for me.
As long as you base your choices in life according to self-love, you’ll never get it wrong. Not there is a “right” or “wrong,” only what is. Writing my story was probably the first conscious act of self-love that I’d ever done. Without my writing, I wouldn’t be where I am today; healed and happy. I owe the Who I Am Today to that one act of self-love.
Is there a message in your book that you want readers to grasp?
Letting Go can help readers evaluate their own personal traumas if they’re ready. Within my lessons, they can find their own lessons. By seeing how I overcome my challenges, they can begin to confront their own. I show them very unique places to look for help along with very mundane places.
Letting Go offers messages of hope, encouragement and belief in Self. Hope in knowing that they will survive and return to being the happy person that they were before the rug was pulled out from under them. Belief that what is happening to them is truly in their highest good even though it seems like heresy to believe that. Everything always happens for a reason, and the universe always brings us exactly what we need. Might not be what we want, but it’s always what we need.
Encouragement from the fact that I am leading a happy, fulfilling life after having been brought to my knees by the most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced. Six years ago, in my darkest moments, I considered leaving this life experience. If I can transform from the darkness of my Abyss to the wonderful life I’m experiencing now, anyone can. I want everyone to know that it is imperative that they put themselves first and trust that their soul knows what its doing even if their conscious mind doesn’t. I want to be a beacon of encouragement and hope for all who find themselves without faith, hope, understanding and/or belief in Self.
I bought a little plate just before my first Christmas alone that says, “Sometimes on the way to a dream you get lost and find a better one.” I’d read it every day trying to believe it could be true. I’m living that better dream now, and I’d like to help others find their better dream as quickly and painlessly as possible.
What are you reading now?
I just finished Deepak Chopra’s Reinventing the Body – Resurrecting the Soul. I’ve started The Shadow Effect by Debbie Ford, Deepak Chopra & Marianne Williamson.
What types of books do you like to read? Who are your favorite authors? Why?
I read mostly non-fiction books; spiritual, self-help, new age, personal growth books. Although I loved the Harry Potter books too.
Favorite authors: Michael Roads, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Debbie Ford, Wayne Dyer, Brian Weiss., Gary Zukav, Ed McGaa, Jamie Sams, JK Rowling.
All these authors write about topics I’m interested in. They write with clarity allowing me to understand complex concepts easily. From their work I’m able to learn and grow as a person, which allows me to be a better writer and express what I have to share more clearly.
Are you working on your next book? What can you tell us about it?
I had hoped to have started my next book two winters ago. Instead I’ve been consumed with promoting Letting Go and my communication and healing work. I am about to begin writing though. It will be the first in a series of books about my animal communication experiences. There is so much the animals have taught me that needs to be shared with people. The time is right for me to get started, so I will wake up my muse and get at it once and for all. One of the animals’ greatest lessons is that of living in the present moment. So, I’m just taking it a page at a time, a day at a time – everything happens in its perfect timing.
What is the best advice you could give other writers about writing or publishing?
Write for the “right” reasons for you. Write from your heart. Publish to contribute something of value to others not just to earn money. Surround yourself with professionals who respect your opinion regardless of your inexperience. Be open to constructive criticism and willing to explore new possibilities and options. Remain true to your purpose and know that your heart knows best.
Even if you never publish, the act of writing alone may be all you need. Writing healed me; publishing didn’t. But, know that the first time you hold your own book is enormously satisfying and magical. Each time you hear how your words have helped another, your heart warms and you smile. Those are the moments you’ll remember long after any money you’ve earned is spent.
What are you doing to promote your latest book?
I’ve joined numerous social network sites. I write a weekly column for “Petsense.com” on Thursdays. I write a monthly column for “StableWoman Gazette.com.” I write feature articles for “The Infinite Field Magazine” as well as numerous articles featured in both ezines and print magazines. I schedule book-signings from May – November at local stores and craft fairs. I’ve done many internet radio interviews over the past 2 years too. All of this is what has kept me from starting the next book.
Where can readers learn more about you and your book?
At my Website: www.NancyKaiserAnimalCommunicator.com