Forget the Golden Rule! When it comes to communication, it is straight out dangerous; instead embrace the People Smart Rule, which states “Respect those around you by treating them as THEY want to be treated.”
Communication Skills Magic is a book that contains the blueprint – or the instruction manual – to YOU and to those around you. There are only four basic personality styles, and the book helps the reader easily recognize each style and provides in-depth instruction on how to communicate most effectively with each style; how to prevent or deal with conflict with each style; how to motivate the four styles, what are their likes and dislikes, what are their strengths and weaknesses, how each style can improve their productivity [often based on self-talk and better understanding one’s own personality style], and it even contains a chapter, at the end of each style’s description, that lists the careers that each style tends to enjoy most.
If everyone read Communication Skills Magic – and/or other similarly well written books that help one better understand themselves and those around them – I truly believe that we’d live in a better world. Just imagine if everyone treated you the way you like to be treated… Imagine if you could easily recognize others’ personality style and treat them instantly the way they want to be treated… It is possible. Communication Skills Magic has the key! … and the more of us absorb these concepts, the more we contribute to creating a more peaceful world.
Tell us something about yourself.
I’m the Peaceful Communication Messenger. Former gang member and street fighter who learned that violence not only doesn’t solve problems, but it only brings on more problems that we often can’t handle effectively.
I am Hungarian born and raised in Romania [in Satu Mare, right by the border of Hungary]. Soon after I migrated to Hungary, at 23 I decided that the $1OO MONTHLY wage just doesn’t cut it, and decided to become a millionaire or a street bum – nothing in between. And in a short 8 months I reached my goal: I became a street bum :} ; however, I never gave up on my dreams and I found my calling – since I had a passion for foreign languages and spoke a couple of them , I became an interpreter for business investors setting up companies in Hungary. Then about a year later, one of the investors partnered up with me and suddenly became the general manager of Gomek Ltd. and export-import Chinese-Hungarian joint venture. Thanks to my language skills and my good communication skills, we experienced some great success with the company and I managed it till age 27, when I decided to join my family in the United States.
I’ve been writing since my teen years – even wrote a few pieces of poetry. I wrote on topics such as goal setting, success is a choice, and even an autobiography… but none of them got ever published.
I’m really proud that I finally published a book on a topic that changed my life and the lives of those around me. Today I speak extensively on this topic and try to reach as many people with my message as possible.
What inspired you to write this book?
I was raised in a strict religious environment, and as a child was restricted from having friends other than kids from our church [which none lived in our neighborhood]; we were not allowed to go to school trips, school plays, etc.; and to top all these “goodies,” tough love – that is, lots of spanking – was the norm almost daily. As a result I became a very shy young man… I remember being a small kid 6+ year old, watching other kids playing freely, and I felt like I was on a totally different planet. I did not know how to talk to other kids or how to play with them… but I did know how to get into fights daily.
All this motivated me, at around age nine to start reading books on effective communication, self-improvement, simple psychology, etc. and I became a book worm. By age 17 I became a “master” communicator. I could make friends really easily and I had followers who wanted advice on how to make friends, or even how to talk to girls…
I started writing my first book at around age 18, but it took me another 22 years to finally publish my first book on effective communication. I wish my parents had this book when I was a kid; I think we could have avoided half of the spankings…
Why did you decide to self-publish?
The book was self-published, simply because as a first time writer I didn’t even know how to start looking for a big-time famous publisher… besides, I wanted to retain all rights to the book, so I can use parts of it as articles, create videos, and other spin-off products [if you are published by a New York big name publisher, they are the one’s who’ll own all the rights to your book”]
How did you know you wanted to be a writer? How did you get started?
I attended once a seminar on the topic of my book – the DISC Behavioral Model – and it changed my relationship with my family, friends, parents, clients, etc. tremendously. It gave me a new look at the people around me and I became a much more effective communicator. At that seminar I decided that I’ll 1. become a DISC trainer and help others experience the same changes as I experienced, and 2. I knew right away that I’ll write a book so I could help millions of people improve their communication and relationships. So, I’d say, it was in the summer of 2OO3 when I decided to write this book… but, really, I’ve been writing since 17 and I knew that one day I’ll publish.
How did I get started? I started writing without judging anything… I just wrote, and wrote, and wrote… I was told that I should have an outline first – and maybe that would have helped – but I did not know at the beginning where I was going; I had to first let it all come out of me…
What do you believe is the hardest part of writing?
Narrowing it down to a book size manuscript. After my research and after jotting down my observations, I had about 1OOO pages of manuscript. It took me about 2 years to bring it down to 267 pages [it took me more than 5 years to write the book – the next one will be written in a few months, I promise :} ]
How do you do research for your books?
First, I read all the books that I could find on the market on my topic. Secondly, and this was the most important part of my writing, I did lots of live research. As I became a full-time speaker on my topic, I was watching people of different personality styles’ communication tendencies, I interviewed them, watched them interact in group settings, etc., etc. – it was a real labor of love. I enjoyed every minute of it.
Did you learn anything from writing this book? What?
Yes, as I was writing the book I understood why “writing a book makes you an expert.” As I was writing the book, I realized that I had gaps in my knowledge, hence I had to do further research or interview people… Writing the book made me go deeper in my topic – the DISC Behavioral Model – and now I feel like a true expert and I’m more confident when I’m promoting my workshops to companies and event planners.
What are you reading now?
1001 Ways to Market Your Book, Guerrilla Publicity, and Be the Media/How to Create and Accelerate Your Message… Your Way.
What types of books do you like to read? Who are your favorite authors? Why?
I used to love to read novels, but I have no more time for that genre. The past few years I’m reading mostly business books and coaching or public speaking related books. One of the books that had the biggest impact on me recently, was Don Miguel Ruiz’ “Mastery of Love.”
Are you working on your next book? What can you tell us about it?
Yes, I’m working on a book that will help parents connect better with their children. I’ll provide easy tips to improve communication and their relationship in general.
I’m a parent of three children and they are super good kids… but they are good kids because they have parents who communicate them the right way and guide them the right way… I want to help others experience this too. Of course, much of my success with my kids [and my wife] is because I’m a life-long learner of people and communication skills. At least half of my new book will be based on the DISC concepts covered in the first book.
What is the best advice you could give other writers about writing or publishing?
I have a super strong advice. I want to put a spell on all wanna’ be writers! Here it goes:
“JUST DO IT!” Sit down and start writing. It does not have to be perfect. Not all of us are John Grisham, but we are the only one who can write like us. So, just sit down and do it and don’t over think it. Then… once you are done, realize that GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH – don’t spend years trying to make it perfect, or you’ll never publish [of course, if you can afford it, do hire a good developmental editor; if not, ask a few good friends to look over your book; let each have a chapter or two… then publish!
And… realize that you do not have to write hundreds of pages. A thin book is still a book… Or maybe you can start with a booklet… then another one… then another one… and later you can combine them into a book.
What are you doing to promote your latest book?
I’m trying to get as many radio and TV interviews as possible [yes, I know, good luck with this one!]; Social media, youTube, linkedIn, articles all over the internet, press releases, etc.
Where can readers learn more about you and your book?
You can learn about me at www.egSebastian.com
Learn about the book – and download a few free chapters – at www.CommunicationSkillsMagic.com
You can purchase and flip through the book on Amazon as well.