We all know that book promotion (and life!) has changed since The Frugal Book Promoter was first published in 2004–particularly in ways that have to do with the Web, but in other ways, too. As an example, the publishing world in general is more open to indie publishing now than it was then. So, this update but includes lots of information on ways to promote that were not around or were in their infancy a few short years ago.

So here is what is new:There is new information in this expanded and updated edition that answers questions like these:·

• What is Carolyn’s simplified method for making social networks actually work–without spending too much time away from my writing?
• How can I avoid falling into some of the scam-traps for authors?
• How can I get into one of those big tradeshows like BEA?
• What are the best “old-fashioned” ways to promote–the ones I shouldn’t give up on entirely?

There is even an updated section on how you go about writing (and publishing) an award-worthy book. And, of course, you’ll find it loaded with resources you can use–but they’re all updated.

• How can I use the new QR codes to promote my book to mobile users? And to others?
• What are the pitfalls of using the Web and how can I avoid them?
• What are the backdoor methods of getting reviews–even long after my book has been published?

Get your copy of The Frugal Book Promoter.

Getting one radio show to book you may be just luck. But getting dozens or even hundreds of radio shows to book you means that you must have a compelling pitch letter and subject that are irresistible.

Hence prospective radio & TV show guests need to know the 20 Tips on Getting Booked on Radio and TV with a Pitch That Wows Them!

Before someone tackles self-booking on radio, they should have some basic knowledge of what a show host or producer is looking for and how to write a letter than excites the booker. We’ve perfected this art for our clients and are willing to share the inside scoop on making yourself appealing to the radio show.

So here are some guidelines that will certainly help if you are proposing yourself for radio shows:

1. Make it a Memorable Pitch. It is imperative to the get the attention of the host or producer immediately. The power of the lead paragraph cannot be underestimated. Especially in an email world, you have less than 30 seconds to grab their attention. So the concise first graph must shock, excite, intrigue or create a great reason to read on.

Some of the ways that you can make it interesting are posing a question; making a bold statement; creating an unexpected juxtaposition; stating a problem that you are the person to solve; making a revelatory declaration; be topical and keying the interview to something newsworthy or an upcoming holiday; stating something only you can say; or tweaking and teasing the host.

2. Essentials To Make It Compelling. There are some key elements that you can provide to make yourself irresistible to a host. First you must establish that there is a problem that engages the audience and for which you have the solution. Second, you must advise the host how your interview will benefit the listeners. Third, you have to establish what you can say that they’ve never heard before. Even if they’ve heard similar topics, your voice must be distinct. Succinctly tell your own powerful story of growth and transformation, so that you position yourself as an expert who can lead the listener in a similar transformation.
Tell the host how can it illuminate, motivate, inspire and make the listener feel something. Lastly, dare to be different—but not TOO different so it is off putting, especially to mainstream media.

3. Take Advantage of Holiday Themed Pitches. Look for holiday tie-ins, but still maintain your focus on the benefits to the listener. Work far in advance since many shows book their holiday segments as much as a month early.

4. Mold the Message to Specific Audience. Depending on genre, topic and type of demographics different shows are looking for guests that fit a specific profile. Seldom can one letter work for all. You will need to tweak the message for each media segment, while not diluting the appeal. Know the host and the show you are soliciting and tailor the pitch letter to the host, subject and the audience.

5. Making Sure It Has All the Right Elements. In structuring a compelling pitch letter that makes them say “Yes,” you must have certain key information. These elements should be included in the order noted :

1. An attention-grabbing lead
2. Subject introduction/reason for interview
3. Your credentials (keep these brief and pertinent)
4. Benefits to the audience. Specifically state or spell out what will be learned by the listener
5. Brief review quote from an endorser or reviewer, an objective party. In some cases you may want to state where you have been booked before. (Not on a competitive show, however.)
6. Offer a copy of the book or product, and ask the host to advise if he/she would like one sent
7. Provide contact to call for interview
8. Restate in one line why you’d be a great guest and the benefits.
9. Close and provide signature
10. Keep it to one page

6. Create a Great Interview Packet. A radio interview packet is different from a general media kit. It has certain elements directed specifically to make it easy on the host to prepare for the interview. Your Interview Packet should include a release on your product or book, your biography, talking points or bullet-point summary of the content you want to cover, a brief two-paragraph introduction of you and your product that you want the host to read to the audience when introducing you, a list of things you want to promote (book, website, coaching program, upcoming teleseminar for example), a list of suggested questions that you are offering the host in the event he/she chooses to use them and a JPG photo of yourself in case the interview is promoted on the show’s website.

7. Test Your Pitch. Before sending it everywhere, test it on a few shows. See whether it’s effective. Tweak it a bit, or try a different approach altogether until you find one that resonates with the hosts and producers.

8. Perfect the Follow Up Call. Now that you’ve send the email, fax or letter, it’s time to make the follow up call. Try not to blow it here! After all, if you are dull and verbose on the query call, why should they book you for a full interview? So get to the point, don’t rattle on, and keep it to a 30-second sound bite. Don’t over introduce yourself. They don’t need all of your credentials, just why you are the proper person to present this subject. For example, keep it to a description like, “I am the bestselling author of….” Sound exciting; but not excited. Be professional; but not monotone. Practice your pitch in advance on others to make sure you have it just right and can get it out without tripping over yourself. Leave your number twice—once at the start and once at the end of the call.

9. Don’t Overlook Internet Radio. You can take advantage of Internet Radio in a way you can’t with mainstream. Internet radio show hosts may not have as big an audience, but they have a more targeted audience and will let you aggressively and enthusiastically sell your product or service. You get more plugs over a longer extended amount of time. Internet radio hosts tend to be better educated and more focused on the subject matter. They often will post the interview as a podcast where it will get more listeners afterward, and can be provided to you for your website. Many times you can arrange other business ventures with them to market your products. Some will post your book or product on their site so that listeners can immediately click through to your website or to Amazon.com. Most importantly, Internet radio hosts are accustomed to letting you drive listeners to your website for newsletter signups, free ebooks and other incentives to get people on your opt–in list.

10. Hire a Pro. So once you realize the amount of work it takes to create this kind of appeal and then research the thousands of radio shows that are potential portals for your message, you may find it easier to retain an agency that has a special Radio Media Tour, an exclusive turn-key agency package that strategically positions the spokesman for the marketplace and then connects with radio shows across the nation to arrange interview bookings.

Jackie Lapin’s Conscious Media Relations creates Radio Media Tours especially for authors, speakers and coaches by offering them to an exclusive list of more than 2,000radio hosts who seek interviews with leaders in the personal development industry. For more information go to www.personaldevelopmentradiomediatour.com.  Lapin also helps authors plan, strategize and optimize their book marketing. Go to www.YourBookMarketingCoach.com.

My guess is that 97% of the people who try to get free publicity fail miserably. They fail because they violate the #1 rule of publicity and press releases. That rule is:

“Always keep in mind that no one gives a rat’s rear end about you.”

They don’t care about you.

They don’t care about what you did.

They don’t care about what you experienced.

All they care about is what you can do for them.

A huge number of people are darned impressed with themselves, their own accomplishments, their own thoughts and ideas. That comes across very clearly when they write press releases.

No one – and I mean NO ONE – cares.

Oh, they’ll tell you they care. They’re lying to you.

These people take themselves far more seriously than is justified.

When these people send out press releases, they start their release with things like:

“Academy Products is proud to announce…”

“Jim Collins, a compassionate, skilled practitioner…”

“It is with great pride that Bigelow Realty announces a 32% increase in sales this year.”

Any time the first words on your press release are your name or your business name, your ego is out of line.

You think people really care about you.

They don’t.

They only care what Academy Product, Jim Collins or Bigelow Realty can do for them.

I keep harping on this subject. I’ll keep harping on it until my point is driven deep into your brain.

Have you set up a special email address on your website or in your business that allows people to tell you why you suck? If not, why not?

Are you afraid of what people may have to say? It could be very revealing.

It could show you the flaws in your business – or your personality.

When you send out your press releases, do you talk about yourself or do you talk about how you, your product or your service can help the reporter and his audience?

The more you talk about yourself in your press releases, the less publicity you’ll get. It’s a very simple relationship:

More talk about you = less publicity

Instead, you should be talking about how your information can help people. How your information can solve problems. How you are the answer people have been looking for.

When you help people solve their problems, you won’t have to pitch yourself and your business. It’ll be very clear that you are the answer people have been looking for.

The more you can help reporters put together interesting stories for their audiences, the more publicity you’ll get.

Copyright Paul Hartunian. All rights reserved. Do you need more help getting free publicity for your business? Paul Hartunian has all the help you need at: Paul Hartunian’s website and Paul Hartunian’s Million Dollar Publicity Strategies where you’ll find free publicity tips, free articles, free coaching call replays that will make getting free publicity for your business a snap! Plus you’ll find information about Paul’s Million Dollar Publicity System, the whole story of how he sold the Brooklyn Bridge and plenty more. And, for just $7 you can get 3 issues of Paul’s publicity newsletter, 3 of his best strategy reports, personal coaching from Paul and your very own, authentic piece of the world famous Brooklyn Bridge. No need to hunt for top quality information on how to get free publicity. Paul Hartunian has it all for you.

Many LinkedIn professionals simply copy their bios from their website or the back of their book. And believe me you can tell. For example, I recently spoke to Ted Gee about changing his LinkedIn profile. I told him that his summary read like a back flap of a hard cover book. His exact response was, “You nailed it! That is exactly what I did”.

Why Your LinkedIn Profile Should Not Sound Like an Author’s Biography…

Your profile should not sound like an author’s bio because it is and old and over used format. Do you remember anything you have read from a bio? No, that is because there is never anything interesting or memorable in an author’s bio. Your profile needs to entice your audience to want to learn more about you. It needs to have strong and engaging copy. It had to make the individual who is reading it scroll down further and eventually visit your website. But none of this can ever happen if your profile is dull and average.

Here are 5 Secrets to Making Your Profile More Exciting and Enjoyable to Your Readers…

1) Make your profile summary in 1st person not 3rd person. LinkedIn is a virtual networking platform for business professionals who want to do more business. It is the first step in building a relationship with someone. You wouldn’t introduce yourself in the third person if you met someone at a networking event. – would you? Then why would you introduce yourself on your profile in 3rd person when writing in first person gives you a more genuine and personal touch.

2) Speak to your audience’s desires, wants and needs. For example here is part of the introduction we created for the summary for PRLeads Founder Dan Janal:

Imagine being featured on the front page of USA TODAY — and then being able to double your speaking fees immediately just like PR LEADS client Patrick Snow of Creating Your Own Destiny. Imagine the website traffic and sales you can generate if only you can find a way to get more publicity so you can speak to millions for free!

Now, small business owners, solo PR firms, speakers, authors and entrepreneurs can get name-brand publicity tools and publicity coaching they can afford. I’m talking about the same top-tier publicity tools that major corporations use to get mega media placements – but you can get it at a fraction of their cost.

Do you see how Dan’s intro speaks to the needs, wants and desires of a small business owner looking to attract media attention?

3) Reveal mistakes your target audience is making and how you are the solution to their problems. For example, in Skip Weisman’s profile summary we revealed how one of his clients admittedly lost 5 million in ten years before working with him. By showing your audience the types of mistakes they are making (that they don’t even realize they are doing), you will stop prospects dead in their tracks. They will automatically want to see if they are making costly mistakes themselves. The key part of this process is to provide reasons how you can help members of your audience and why they should work with you.

4) Show client results. For example, on Help My Website Sell founder Adam Hommey’s profile we included results like:

* Ross Jeffries (Founder of Speed Seduction) – For every dollar he spends on internet marketing consulting, he earns several dollars back. In fact, with one of his promotions, he made more than $60,000 in less than 24 hours!

* MaryPat Kavanagh – Saved thousands of dollars after Adam reviewed her website and internet marketing systems. He showed her how she’s wasting money on complex solutions that are actually costing her money.

5) Use LinkedIn profile templates. When you use templates like the ones found at http://www.InstantLinkedInMarketingTemplates.com, you get the structure, format and organization you need to create a more audience-focused, exciting profile. Here is just what one user had to say about LinkedIn templates:

Kristina, I wanted to thank you and recommend your products for LinkedIn Profiles. I purchased them and followed your templates and my LinkedIn profile went from completely empty to completely professional. I have had testimonials, been published and still didn’t know how to use those tools to my advantage. Your tools gave me that. Since then I have had more connections, more recommendations, and more conversations with potential customers. Always remembering to use the call to action skills I learned from your templates.

The next time you login to your LinkedIn account read your profile and see if it appeals to you as a reader. If it does not, you definitely have to follow some of the tips you just read to improve upon the copy.

Remember you have to entice the reader to learn more about you and what to work with you or purchase your products. One way to guarantee this is to make sure your profile does not read like an author’s biography.

LinkedIn marketing Expert Kristina Jaramillo, the creator of the first LinkedIn marketing templates at http://www.InstantLinkedInMarketingTemplates.com helps business professionals network more effectively on LinkedIn so they can get more website traffic, prospects and profits. Now, with her free special report, you can uncover how you can become “the trusted source for your industry on LinkedIn” by avoiding her top 14 mistakes. Get this information for free at: http://www.GetLinkedInHelp.com

Did you know, Best selling author, John Grisham’s book “A Time to Kill” was rejected by fifteen publishers and thirty agents before he ultimately decided to publish it himself? Being a self published author represents a mountain of challenges when it comes to breaking into the industry. We?ve all heard the various stereotypes about writers who decide to self publish versus traveling the traditional route. For instance, if you?re self published, it?s because no publishing house would pick up your manuscript. Or, self published authors aren’t talented enough and their work doesn’t measure up against writers who are traditionally published. The truth of the matter is, some of the world?s best material has been written by individuals who, for one reason or another, decided to go the self published route including the likes of Edgar Allen Poe, Rudyard Kipling, Gertrude Stein and even Mark Twain. So it begs the question, if there are currently so many great writers who have decided to self publish, then why are they having such a difficult time selling books?

Fact of the matter is, self published authors personally finance the marketing and publicity of their work versus traditionally published writers who have the financial backing and marketing expertise of a larger publishing house. It is much easier to promote and sell while on a twelve city book signing tour where the publishing company is footing the bill for travel, hotel, food, marketing and media coverage. Let?s take a look at a couple of ways self published authors can level the playing field and experience increased success in sales and promotion.

1. Develop a marketing strategy – I always tell clients “we must plan our work and work our plan.” Start by identifying measurable goals for your marketing campaign. How many books do I want to sell…do I want to develop a public speaking component to go along with my book business? Once you?ve answered these questions…you?re path will become more clear.

2. Leverage social media & the web-If you?re not currently using social media, i.e.Facebook, Twitter and Youtube to promote your work, you are losing the “WAR” (Walk Away Revenue). Social media levels the playing field for self published authors seeking to develop their personal brand and promote upcoming releases with the same professional approach as bigger agencies with a large marketing budget. A personal website is a must! Successful promotion starts with access to information and the place to get it is through the authors website. Here you can control your content and promote effectively based on the initiatives in your marketing strategy. The “official website” should be a one stop shop for everything YOU!

3. Timely PR - Public relations must be a self published authors best friend. By now you should have a professionally designed digital press kit that contains information about you such as a bio, any published work, press clippings from articles or television appearances and contact information for future bookings. Any time you have the chance to promote your work through various media such as print, TV, radio, webcast, etc. take advantage of it. When asked to speak at a local library, call your local newspaper editor or create a press release including all pertinent information about your event.

4. Promotion, Promotion, Promotion! – If no one knows you exist…you won?t sell books! It?s that simple. You may be the next great writer in your genre but if people don?t see you, they won?t know you. Depending on your budget, develop a regional book tour of your own. Start with local book stores in your area and contact them about setting up book signings or reading sessions. Once you?ve developed a following locally, expand your territory up to four hours driving distance and continue promoting in similar fashion. Sweepstakes are a great way to develop a database of potential customers and future followers of your work. Be proactive and engage your customer base…don?t wait for them to come to you!

While it is recommended that you seek the help of marketing professionals to properly and effectively promote your work, if you follows these four simple points on marketing and promotion, ultimately book sales will increase and so will your personal brand. No matter what your budget is or how much experience you have with marketing and promotions, you can be successful. Oh, by the way, The Bridges of Madison County….self published!

Ed Jenkins attended Johnson & Wales University in Providence, RI and majored in marketing. He is currently the managing partner of Confab Marketing & Design, a Pittsburgh, PA based agency that specializes in brand development, social media and public relations for authors, publishers and professional athletes. You can contact Ed and learn more about Confab Marketing by visiting http://www.confabmarketing.com/downloads/Confab-Media-Kit.pdf

> Get massive exposure for your book, no special computer skills needed — trade published or self published, fiction or nonfiction> Discover why authors fail with paid advertising, pay-per-click, fee-based reviews, and “bestseller” campaigns> Blog to connect with readers, driving them to Amazon and bookstores> Boost your visibility with Google, use MySpace for viral marketing> Ignite word of mouth with Web social networks> Capitalize on peer content and “amateur” book reviewsHere’s what the experts say about this book:”A wealth of ideas for making your book stand out, including many techniques for Internet buzz you won’t find elsewhere.”– Jane Corn, Amazon.com Top Reviewer”I spent two years building up skills to market my books Earthcore and Ancestor online, and I can tell you right now that Plug Your Book would have saved me MONTHS of time. I bought this book just to make sure I wasn’t missing anything, but it blew me away.”– Scott Sigler, # 1 bestselling author”An amazingly rich

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The first thing a producer sees is your headline. If you don’t capture their interest in your first line, most producers won’t read any further; you’ve lost your chance to pitch your idea.

Headlines make you care. Write them in a conversational tone and design them to reach the specific audience that has a need or a desire for what you’re promoting. Notice I say “desire” because people “need” very few things. The more direct you are the better. In other words, entice then deliver.

Below are each one of the secrets followed by an example:

1. The How-to.

“How to Get on Oprah in 10 Easy Steps.”

When people want to learn about something they turn to “How-to” information as their quickest source. Using numbers is one way to let your audience know that what follows will be easy to digest. “How to” in the title immediately alerts your reader that you plan to give them something they can put to use today in a format they can follow.

2. The Command

“Become an Internet Millionaire!”

Though this is a frequent cry, it still has an immediate effect. Why? Commands assure you that there is a way to get what you want from the advice that follows. They touch the “I want that!” place inside you. They tell the reader that it’s possible to achieve the benefit you’re “advertising.” Your copy then backs-up your claim.

3. The Shocking Statement.

“Wives Who Don’t Want Sex.”

Oprah did a show on this topic stating that “experts now estimate that up to 40 million women suffer from a loss of sexual desire–and it’s likely their partners suffer too.” She even calls it “A secret epidemic.”

Who knew? Bring up the unlikely, the counterintuitive (Even women who loved their husbands in every other way, just didn’t have the desire for sexual intimacy. One woman who ditched the headache excuse, came up with a new approach to avoiding sex: Start an argument). Provocative statements get our attention like an electrical shock. They make you sit up and say, “Really?”

4. The Question.

“Do you really know your mate?”

People often unconsciously answer the question you pose in their minds. Your body copy will piggyback with an answer that includes statistics. Something like: “55% of all couples say that they do, but then are shocked when they find out about a partner’s hidden desire.”

5. The “New” News Item.

“Find out about the only drug that cures unhappiness.”

The latest news flash needs to introduce something truly new in order to be valid. To be newsworthy, “new news” promises excitement, informs, or states something helpful that will benefit a lot of people. Words like “only, new, introducing, powerful, and first,” are a few words that insist on attention. But use them sparingly and carefully, producers and reporters have a low tolerance for any kind of hype. Also, if you say you’re first, it needs to be true.

© Susan Harrow. All rights reserved. Get tips like this and more than 100 pages of insights and hot tips in Susan’s new book “The Ultimate Guide to Getting Booked on Oprah: 10 Steps to Becoming a Guest on the World’s Top Talk Show.” You’ll find dozens of ideas, advice on how to pitch Oprah producers, and insider secrets from the best publicists in the business. Click here to find out more and read chapter excerpts.

I spoke at the ASJA Conference in New York City last Friday. Here are selected remarks from my speech.

Technology changes everything. Technology even changes the way we communicate with reporters to get publicity.

Technology had its upside and downside. We could easily send press releases and pitch letters to hundreds or thousands of reporters for free because email is free. And unfortunately, too many PR people actually did this. This was a bad move for reporters, PR people and clients.

So that brings us to today. How can we use technology to improve our media relations and get the visibility we need to sell more products more easily?

First of all, social media is a key. Reporters blog and tweet. You need to be following the 5 or 10 reporters who really matter to you.

Read their stuff.

Comment.

Befriend them.

You will stand out from the thousands of lazy PR people who blanket the emailosphere – is that even a word? — with untargeted pitch letters. You’ll be rewarded:

1. When you pitch reporters, they very well might remember you and listen to you.

2. Some reporters are posting their own requests for information to their followers so you’ll be in a small group who will see their messages.

Dan Janal helps small businesses get publicity so they can sell more products. My clients get terrific results from my coaching, consulting, done-for-you services and do-it-yourself tools. For info, go to www.prleadsplus.com or call me at 952-380-1554.

What is your most recent book? Tell us a bit about it.

Simple Publicity provides a simple, easy to follow guideline for doing your own public relations. You’ll learn how to use the power of the press to boost sales, awareness and credibility for your business or organization fast, without spending a lot of money.

Tell us something about yourself.

In addition to being the CEO of Rembrandt Communications, www.rembrandtwrites .com, I am a magna cum laude graduate of the prestigious UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television and the official, small-business PR and SEO expert for PINK Magazine, StartupNation, and Nielsen’s Small Business Resource Center.

As a public-relations consultant, SEO copywriter, social media strategist, and published writer with over 20 years of experience, I felt it was time to share some of the information I have learned to help other, small business owners succeed.

With this in mind, I wrote “Simple Publicity,” (1Win Press) “Secrets of Becoming a Publicist,” (American Writers & Artists Inc.) and “7 Steps to Successful Public Relations” (StartupNation). Plus, I host the SmallBiz America Radio segment, “PR and SEO Quick Tips.”

Using my track record for success, I also offers hundreds of subscribers PR and SEO copywriting tips via my “Rembrandt’s Blog,” and monthly newsletter, “Rembrandt Writes Insights®.” Plus, I provide in-depth training presentations to various businesses and organizations nationwide.

And when I’m not helping clients, you can usually find me scuba diving in the Pacific or tap dancing!

What inspired you to write this book?

After working in public relations for so many years, I heard too many horror stories from my fellow entrepreneurs about paying a lot of money for public relations services and search engine optimization copywriting without seeing any results. Being a small business owner myself, I wanted to provide a simple guide to help struggling entrepreneurs do their own publicity and avoid getting ripped off by all the scams out there.

What will readers discover in your book?

“Simple Publicity” reveals:

* The #1 way to get media attention (Hint – It’s really easy!)
* What never to say or do when talking to a reporter and why
* The top 3 items you need to get the PR results you want – fast!
* The top 4 PR myths – Exposed!
* What to avoid wearing during a television interview… or else!
* How to get top reporters to contact you now – and much more!

How did you choose the title?

I wanted to keep it simple for the busy entrepreneurs out there so I named it, “Simple Publicity.”

The sub title is “How to do your own public relations to boost sales, awareness and credibility fast without spending a lot of money.”

What obstacles did you encounter in getting this book published? How did you overcome them?

I wanted to control the process and avoid problems so I created my own self-publishing company, 1Win Press™. This way, I can promote and market the book when and where I want and know exactly what is going on at all times.

Did you learn anything from writing and publishing this book? What?

I’ve learned that there are a lot of new entrepreneurs out there who need help promoting and launching their businesses. For those with small budgets, I’ve been able to help them succeed with “Simple Publicity,” and that’s very fulfilling.

What is the best advice you could give other writers about writing or publishing?

When you have an idea for a book, go for it and keep the momentum going. Create a schedule to write every day and set deadlines for the completion of specific chapters. This way, you will know what you need to accomplish and actually turn your book idea into a reality.

Who is the perfect reader for your book?

Perfect readers of “Simple Publicity” include new, small business owners or entrepreneurs launching a new Website or e-commerce business. They will learn the simple steps necessary to increase sales and awareness with publicity in a short amount of time, all for under $20.00.

Where can readers learn more about you and your book?

“Simple Publicity – How to do your own public relations to boost sales, awareness and credibility fast… without spending a lot of money” is available on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble at http://bit.ly/SimplePublicityBN and on my site at http://www.rembrandtwrites.com/SimplePublicity.htm. Readers can also find free information about using public relations and SEO copywriting to increase sales at www.rembrandtwrites.com.

ALTERNATE WAYS TO SUCCEED USING YOUR WITS TO WIN!

NOTE: I’ve had eight books published. My techniques are offbeat but effective. And if at first you don’t succeed, try again. Persistence and patience are required!

1. When handsome Bob had submitted his first book manuscript to a dozen publishers, which they all rejected, he decided he wanted a major agent. The one he chose, a well -connected, attractive young lady, said she was too busy with published authors. And she told him not to call her again, please.

SOLUTION: I suggested he track the agent’s daily schedule and report back to me. Her lunch hour was 1 pm, returning to her office at 2:30. Bob’s roommate, Hugo, was a weightlifter and he agreed to participate in my charade. Briefly, Bob and Hugo waited until the agent entered her elevator, they followed and Hugo made an amorous advance on the agent; Bob knocked him out just as they arrived at her floor. She invited Bob to her office, thanked him profusely and decided to handle his book. He was not only published but, through her contacts, obtained a television commercial for Dunkin Doughnuts that ran more than a year.  Bob found his career as a MC in Atlantic City.

2. My first book manuscript was returned from Simon & Schuster with coffee stains, torn pages and someone balanced their checkbook on a page.

SOLUTION: I wrote Leon Shimkin, the CEO, a scathing two-page letter of protest. His secretary called me to arrange a lunch date with her boss. He apologized and then agreed to publish “The Great American Hoax!” The book was serialized in the NEW YORK POST, sold overseas and to Paramount Pictures for a film with Jack Lemmon.

3. When the Canadian publisher, McClelland & Stewart, considered my satire on advertising, “The Fallacy of Creative Thinking,” President Jack McClelland invited me for lunch in New York City. He handed over my manuscript and said his editors had voted not to publish. I was devastated.

SOLUTION: The waiter brought the check and handed it to me. Mr. McClelland insisted on paying. I refused, saying, “I’m sure you’ve taken hundreds of authors to lunch and none ever picked up the check.” He nodded yes. “Well, sir,” I replied, “When you return to Toronto you’ll always remember one author in your life who paid the check. Me.” He rolled his eyes, shook his head, smiling, and said, “And you are that one author who is also going to be published.” I was, including a $10,000 advance, network TV appearances and a book tour across Canada.

4. I submitted my manuscript to 40 publishers and received 40 rejections.

SOLUTION: At a national book convention in Washington, DC I hired several people to put 3,000 flyers, describing my book, under hotel room doors where publishers were staying. A week later I received two calls asking to read the manuscript, “Don’t Get Mad…Get Even,” involving humorous way to seek revenge when wronged. W.W. Norton offered a contract. The book became a best-seller, was published overseas and licensed to Books-On-Tape. (It was rented and sold from 1985 to 2005).

5. When Dr. Joe Vitale’s book, “There’s A Customer Born Every Minute,” required a promotional campaign, I was asked to design one. His book was a modern day version of P.T. Barnum’s ideas.

SOLUTION: I suggested he hold a Canine Concert in an Austin, TX park.  Only dogs were invited because the band played music on such a high frequency, only they could hear. Their handlers came too, along with media coverage, A ton of books were sold that day. And the book continues to sell.

6. Author Patricia Hamilton developed a book, “California Healthy,” that described all the healthy restaurants, health clubs and hiking paths in California. Self-published, she was unable to obtain distribution or shelf space in book stores.

SOLUTION: I suggested she target her audience, namely tourists, and solicit hotels and motels to place a copy of her book in rooms. Travelers could browse or buy. The Renaissance Hotel in Hollywood was the first to order 750 books, followed by others and negotiations began with the Marriott Hotel chain. Last year, Ms. Hamilton won the coveted IRWIN AWARD for the best marketing plan by the California Book Publicists Association.

7. Dr. Joe Vitale had another book about to be published, “The Attractor Factor,” that described ways to turn peoples’ lives around and become successful. He needed a dynamic publicity campaign that would promote his book nationally.

SOLUTION: Since the Powerball Lottery had reached $380 million without a winner, I decided to create a winner when the winning numbers were called. Then, my accomplice would immediately hold court in the city where they were called, and claim he chose the correct numbers by leafing through pages of “The Attractor Factor.” (There is no law against pretending to be a lottery winner, as long as you don’t try to claim the money.) My team staged this event in Lincoln, NE at the Village Inn Restaurant, soon overrun by the media, reported by Associated Press, CNN, Fox News, Good Morning America and others. “The Attractor Factor,” always held aloft, was Number One on amazon.com for three straight days!

8. Neither Barnes & Noble nor Borders would stock Dick Elder’s fascinating autobiography telling how he went from rags to riches with a dude ranch (“Which Way Is West?”)

SOLUTION: So my team surreptitiously placed a dozen copies in the bio section of stores in New York City, Boston, Baltimore, Philadelphia and Washington, DC. The books soon sold out, much to the consternation of store managers . As customers ordered copies, the author was tracked down and he gladly supplied both chains. (Al Roker’s production company has optioned book for a TV movie.)

9. A dozen years ago I had my screenplay optioned at Disney with no response for many months. Nobody answered my letters or phone calls.

SOLUTION: I decided to have Michael Eisner, the Chairman, call me. He graduated from Denison University in Granville, OH and was an important alumnus. I wrote to the Registrar and requested a transcript of his college grades. A few days later Eisner called me at home and asked, “Who the hell are you and why the do you want my grades?” I explained I just wanted to learn the fate of my screenplay. He laughed at the ploy and two days later I had my answer. Eisner’s secretary said they had decided not to go forward with the movie, with apologies for the delay in responding.

10. A Buick agency on Broadway in Manhattan had a Piper Cub airplane in their huge show window. The owner complained to me this wasn’t helping business.

SOLUTION: I suggested we stage a marathon rehearsal for a new TV show…three days and nights…called “The Unstable Roundtable.” Two teams of six actors took turns improvising, under the leadership of Buck Henry (“The Graduate”). Crowds gathered outside to watch. People had to go inside to hear the zany talkfest. The sales people sold every car in stock!

11. Donald Trump owed me $900 and a year passed without payment, despite monthly bills to his office. Finally, I obtained a default judgment in Small Claims Court. But Donald kept hiding behind his many corporations.

SOLUTION: I ordered the sheriff in Atlantic City to auction his Taj Mahal Hotel. I would take the first $900 and give Trump the next $55 million. When this plan made news, I was offered $1,000 to forgive and forget the matter. An excellent idea.

12. A wealthy businessman in Philadelphia was secretly engaged to marry two different women. When they accidently met at a party and compared expensive diamond rings, they were horrified to learn the truth and wanted revenge.

SOLUTION: I advised them to salute him with a fake MAN OF THE YEAR award at a local country club. When he arrived in his limo, both women were waiting at the door to greet him. He was devastated by this deception and departed in a huff. Then they each sold their rings for $25,000.

13. Bob Wild had 500 JFK Rocking Chairs he couldn’t sell, even after advertising in airline magazines.

SOLUTION: I suggested he hire salesmen to target Grand Juries in southwest counties. They would each need 23 chairs and could meditate their decisions more accurately while rocking. It worked!

CONCLUSION: I’ve always found a way to sell any idea such as a book, film, product or person. All it takes is IMAGINATION and the desire to succeed. Also, a reasonable amount of money.

by Alan Abel (abelalan2000@yahoo.com) © 2011 Alan Abel