Jodi Ambrose – Sex: How to Get More of It

What is your most recent book? Tell us a bit about it.

Sex: How to Get More of It: A guy’s roadmap to paradise, in and out of the bedroom

This is your one-stop-shop for learning how to keep your woman happy and enjoying a zestier love life, all in 20 easy steps.

I know that doesn’t sound possible, because most guys think women are a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, covered in a big old batch of crazy. But rest assured, if you follow the guidelines set forth in this handbook, both you and your girl will not only find more joy, but more romance as well. (That means more bedroom romping, just in case I wasn’t clear.)

I’ve kept it short and sweet, as I know you are probably quite busy. Besides which, who wants to read 400 pages when you can read 30 and get more out of it? I don’t think it’s the number of words that are important, but what they have to say.

Be aware that this is not a sex how-to guide. There are plenty of those out there and this isn’t one of them. This is an in-your-face, no holds barred, brass tacks list of what you can do to keep your girl happy, keeping in mind the ultimate goal of you getting what YOU want. Enjoy!

While the above is text from my book’s website, the underlying truth is that I wrote this for women. The book is marketed to men because it is their actions which contribute to the happiness of their significant other. If men follow the 20 steps outlined in the book, their girl will be happier—that is my ultimate goal. Of course, to get men to read it, I figured I’d put the “get more sex” angle on it. You have to know to whom you are marketing, right?

So far, I have gotten a great deal of positive feedback from both men and women. Women laugh and say, “Oh yeah, if ONLY my husband did that! I need him to read this book immediately.” Men also laugh, but then they see that doing some very simple things can make their life/lovelife so much more exciting and happy.

Tell us something about yourself.

I grew up in Olney, Maryland, a suburb of Washington DC, in the 70s—yes, I had Farrah Fawcett hair and no, we didn’t have a stop light. I went to college in Baltimore, donated a great amount of money to the local bar scene, and somehow earned a double degree in Secondary Education and English.

While earning my degrees, I simultaneously performed as an on-air hostess for a local rock-n-roll television show, where I got to visually emulate a streetwalker, interview devil worshippers and get my hair done a lot. After graduation, I went on to teach high school English in Maryland for one year, and then ran away to Arizona like my hair was on fire.

I worked as a deejay in a restaurant bar where I verbally harassed all of the customers and made them dance to Alice in Chains. After tiring of that I started working in Educational Technology, teaching educators and students across the world via satellite. I have essentially been doing the same thing ever since except for the year where I traveled the country carrying dead rats and 6 species of roaches with me at all times. My airport nickname was “Bug Lady”.

During all this craziness I got married in 2003 and divorced in 2005. Yeah, that went well.

I got married again in 2009 to a wonderful man. He’s the bee’s knees and rules my world. I am truly the luckiest woman alive.

During all of these years, doing all kinds of crazy things, I always wanted to write a book. Whenever I’d get on a story-telling jaunt everyone would tell me to write a book, so I finally decided to do it.

In February 2011, I published my first book instructing guys how to get nookie by treating their woman like the princess she is. I thought it would help both men and women be happier and that seemed like a pretty good ambition to have.

What inspired you to write this book?

A great deal of my inspiration came from being a people-watcher. I’d see unhappy couples everywhere I turned my head and I’d think, “If only they remembered what it felt like when they were first dating…or if only they would be kinder to one another, etc…” So much of the misery you see between couples is from a lack of thoughtfulness and understanding of the opposite sex.

After having been in many relationships over the years, I paid attention to what did and did not work. Not just for me, but for people in general. While my husband and I jokingly call my book, “The Jodi Handbook” it isn’t just what I think might make couples happy, it’s what I know can truly lead to greater joy.

I guess I’ve always been one of those people that everyone shares everything with. People know they are safe with me and that I keep their business private, so they let it all spill out. I should charge by the hour for my listening and advice-giving skills. The benefit of this is not only having the opportunity to help people, but the incredible amount of insight I get from seeing what makes people tick on a very deep level.

Add to all of that, I’m about the smarmiest, most sarcastic, and yet sweet, person at any gathering, and I thought I could make this little book fun for both sexes. No one likes being preached at, so I thought I’d take a different route. I’d speak to men in a way that resonates with them—hopefully, compelling them to actually listen and act on what they were reading. So far, it seems to be working.

How did you choose the title?

I chose the title by trying to see what reading books about relationships from a man’s perspective might be. In most cases, I figured they’d rather jump off a moving train. As such, I figured I’d title it something that would grab their attention. Afterall, how many men do you know that wouldn’t mind a bit more sex in their lives? It really was as simple as that.

What obstacles did you encounter in getting this book published? How did you overcome them?

I self-published my book. I used CreateSpace and found that it was quite an easy process. Because I did all the graphics and design myself, it was also a very inexpensive endeavor. I’d love to have a real pubishing house behind my book, but don’t have a clue how to go about doing that.

How did you know you wanted to be a writer? How did you get started?

I’ve really always wanted to be a writer. When I was in 4th grade I came in 4th place in a state poetry writing contest. Here’s my poem:

The white clouds

Let down soft petals

On the leafless trees

Above the sour grass

Near a child playing.

I loved writing then and have loved it ever since. Sometimes, seeing things in black and white makes all the difference in a person’s life. I wanted to be a part of that.

Do you have any writing rituals?

I do! I write everything I can in one sitting and I don’t rewrite things to death. I may tweak things here or there, as stream of consciousness writing can sometimes lead to confusion, but I basically stay within the lines of what I originally wrote. But I have to be “in the zone”. I can have tons of thoughts I want to put on paper, but until that moment strikes, it is a futile effort. I also write best when I’m sitting on the sofa with my husband on my left, my kitty on my right and my keyboard in my lap. I feel very relaxed and loved in those surroundings and they greatly help facilitate the easy flow of information from my brain to my fingers.

Did you learn anything from writing and publishing this book? What?

I realized that I want to write more books! I also learned that marketing is a nightmare. This is when having an actual publisher would be incredibly helpful. The best book in the world doesn’t help many people if no one knows that it’s out there.

If you were doing it all over again, what would you do differently?

I’m not sure I would do anything differently. I’ve been very happy with the response I’ve gotten about the book. People seem to enjoy the conversational tone and the fact that I’ve kept the book short. I figured that most men do not want to read a 400 page book. Sometimes, it’s the simplicity in something that makes it powerful. That’s the route I chose to take.

What types of books do you like to read? Who are your favorite authors? Why?

I’m a murder mystery junkie! I love Stephen King, Lisa Gardener, Dean Koontz, Lee Child. That whole genre appeals to my darker side. I do also adore the book, “A Confederacy of Dunces” and really, anything by Shakespeare is pretty darn good.

I tend to choose books like those because I use reading as an escape. Like most people, my days are filled with lots of work and the overuse of my brain. Having had a rather colorful life also takes up a great deal of mental space. As such, I love to read books whose sentence structure is easy to follow, whose characters are well developed, and whose stories are dark and exciting. I read everyday and enjoy thoroughly doing so.

Are you working on your next book? What can you tell us about it?

I’ve been thinking about a companion book for women. When my husband and I first started dating we had a discussion on what makes us mad. We figured it made sense to get that out in the open from the get-go, that way if we did any of the things the other one listed, we’d know ahead of time to expect a load of trouble for it. I had 3 or 4 things that really set me off. He had one: “Don’t be a controlling douchebag.” I laughed until my stomach hurt. I thought, yup—that pretty much sums it up!

I figure my next book will essentially let women know how not to be a “controlling douchebag”. Men hate being controlled by their women, so why even try? This book, I do believe, will be a blast to write!

What is the best advice you could give other writers about writing or publishing?

Regarding writing, don’t let other people cloud your vision. It’s very easy when you are a new author to take feedback too much to heart. Not everyone is going to like what you have to say, and that’s okay. If you worry about pleasing everyone with your book, you’ll end up pleasing no one, especially yourself.

Who is the perfect reader for your book?

Men and women who truly want to have a happier relationship. The book is funny and in some cases light hearted, but it also just tells it like it is, no holds barred. If you are the type of person who gets all offended by the truth, you are not a reader who will like my book. I just don’t believe in putting flowers all over everything I say…if it needs to be said bluntly, I say it bluntly. While I keep a sense of humor about all of it, everything in the book is sincerely from my heart. I hope my readers see that from the very first sentence.

Where can readers learn more about you and your book?

Oh, there are a billion places!!! I have a book website, a book-selling website, a book Twitter account and a book Facebook account. It’s for sale on Amazon and is available via Kindle. The list goes on and on. I even have a YouTube page with videos that go hand-in-hand with the book. I think this helps the reader to know me as a person, not just someone who can effectively put pen to paper.

Here’s a list of all the places people can go to learn more:!/sexhowtogetmore